Nudist Jewelry Nails

The other day, to my delight, I found a nail polish basically consisting of confetti in a jar. After resisting the urge to apply 10 coats immediately, I thought to myself, wow this would look lovely over my favorite nude. And thus an uncanny resemblance was discovered.

Dolce and Gabbana Spring/Summer 2012

I’m still new to this photographing my hand thing, but they are pretty darn snazzy. Classic with a little party sparkle. Maybe black is next?

Images courtesy of Vogue.com

 

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Recent Acquisition: Miu Miu magic

Once upon a time, when two lovely girls were studying abroad in the land of cappuccinos and marble penises, they traveled to the not so distant town of Montevarchi. Their mission was simple: conquer the final frontier. After sharing a cab with a wonderfully rich Asian couple, they happened upon the warehouse where dreams come true, Space. Or in non-mystical terms, the Prada and Miu Miu outlet. That’s right. OUTLET.

Surrounded by the banana skirts and sparkle heels of seasons past, they decided they would not return empty handed, even if that was probably the more practical idea. However, hopes were slowly dying after the rude realization that even at 50% off, everything was still a shit ton of money. Regardless, they pressed on, scanning every nook and cranny to find the perfect splurge-worthy treasure.

After crusading through racks of precious garments, the real gem was found. A Prada LBD appeared, at 100 euros no less. One girl had found her prize. Now the pressure was on. Could lightning strike twice?

While moping through the handbags that she couldn’t afford, the other girl spotted something. A flash of pale pink, a hint of ruffle. Unable to resist feminine embellishment, the girl leaned in close, and found it. A Miu Miu clutch, the gold logo reflecting her excitement. Now the moment of truth. Carefully glancing at the price tag, it read 120 euros.

Sweet success.

So in case you didn’t catch my drift, I got a Miu Miu clutch in Italy when me and my bff Kelsey went to the Prada outlet. And according to this photo, it’s pretty much a fairy princess orgasm.

It also closes by way of two hinges, which makes it look like a pink big mouth bass.
Pretty, right??

The glory.

First photo by David Mendolia, the rest by me, standing over a purse while my neighbors keep wondering.

Sneaker Wedgie

Odds are that by now you’ve seen the infamous Isabel Marant sneaker wedges on some relevant (or irrelevant) fashionista.


So what’s the with all the hubbub? The fact is that they are amazingly hideous, some hybrid monster between a Reebok pump and a Louboutin wedge. Just like any other heel, they make your legs appear longer, and now as an added bonus, 5 times skinnier in comparison to the suede bricks on your feet. No wonder. Let’s look at the fellow contenders.

Sneaker wedges
Maison Martin Margelia (flat, but weird enough for me)
See by Chloe (my personal favorite, that leather hngg)

If you dare to wear, be sure to pair with skinny jeans or bare legs of some sort. That way you will get the optimum proportions for the ultimate slimming effect. Who wouldn’t want that? And if you need another reason to give yourself a sneaker wedgie,
do they remind you of anything?

Yep. We’ve hit the future.

Greatest Hits: Leandra Medine

If you’re interested in fashion and don’t know Leandra Medine of The Man Repeller, it is highly probable that you have been living under a giant rock, one that is impenetrable to sharp wit and batshit crazy outfits. She is one of my absolute favorite fashion bloggers, mostly because she doesn’t take herself (or her style) too seriously, not to mention she is a wildly entertaining author to read. I’ve selected some of her best outfits based on a complex formula regarding number of layers, length of drop crotch, and general awesomeness.

A simple way to channel your inner Repeller? Load up on bracelets and bangles, cause this chick invited us all to her arm party. The hilarity ensues at http://www.manrepeller.com/

All photos courtesy of http://www.manrepeller.com/.

Kinder Chic

This pair of outfits may or my not have been inspired by a picture of a sassier, younger version of myself posing with the Rugrats. Aforementioned photo:

I met my childhood heroes (or complete strangers in costume, however you want to look at it) rockin’ a Rugrat print baby doll dress, pink jelly sneakers, frilly socks, and the classic black velvet headband, a statement piece which I wore from kindergarten well into the 4th grade. I was looking at this photo before styling a shoot with renowned photog and personal bff David Mendolia. Maybe it seeped into my subconscious, maybe I just haven’t changed very much. Voilà!


Disney denim vest: Thrifted from California junk shop
Bikini top: Target
Floral shorts, bracelets: F21
Watch: Michael Kors
Black leather booties: Italia
Schizophrenia hair inspired by Rodarte S/S 2011

That’s right people. This beauty is part of “Mickey’s Collection” circa 1989, the couture counterpart to other, heinous Disney wares.

Squatting with no shame, just like the 7 year old I am. Now change in the bushes.


Dress: Mango
Lace tee: American Apparel
Necklaces: Thrifted, H&M, F21
Bangles: Parisian market, Angela Caputi
Socks…socks.
Oxfords: Italia

Apparently I’m a fan of pelvic thrusting.

When in doubt, pile on the accessories like you don’t know any better. Also act like an angst-ridden 20 year old in a fourth grader’s outfit.

Ah, finally a smile and the mandatory goose appearance. This is Oscar, David’s purebred lawn goose. I must say I do have an affinity for lawn ornaments. Well that’s a wrap for my extravagant inaugural post. Others will be shorter (you think I could really keep this kind of thing up?). If you want email updates, click the Follow! button on the right hand side. Special thanks to David Mendolia for the beautiful photos!